I feel much better this couple of days about me "handling" my post-break up syndrome. I finally start to read "Eat Pray Love", I know it's a bit late, I just bought the book, I have been spending my money to buy shoes. Heaps of shoes!! which really didn't help me recover from my broken heart but it help making me looking super fabulous!
This book would be one of the few books that creep me out a little :-p and somehow I'm still on progress..I haven't finish reading it after 4days!
Creep me out, only for one reason.. I feel Liz and I have a few similarity. Yes, she's a divorcee and I'm not. But same x-boyfriend name and same ambition to travel and Yoga. The same longing.. (and in some part I can feel her pain)
|On The verge of Heartbreak Painting by Darryl Kravits|
Couple days after my relationship ended,
I realize how stupid this break-up have made me, how pathetic it made me..
in effort to "act" like everything is OK.
I made "5 New Things I need to do" (I posted it on my twitter) suppose to make me feel better..
- No more egg benedict at KOI for brunch (remind me too much of him even tho' it's delicious!!)
- Cut my hair (I heard it's a tradition)
- Join a Yoga class (so I can look super Hot, and make him regret. Silly, but it made me feel better just to think about it)
- Buy a new earphone (I know this one is super-lame, didn't actually thought it clearly)
- Go out and get drunkly-fun (this is not new, but I haven't done it for so long it had to be a New)
I have done all the above except number 3 & 5. I already called the Yoga class but since it's Ramadhan month lot of the classes are canceled. So, I'll join around end of September or early October. Party like a rock star??? well.. again since it's Ramadhan. Most of the Club either closed or No Alcohol or Only Open till 2am. Sucks!!!!
(but I did went to a club Domain couple weeks ago *Ramadhan month, after a friend Birthday party at his house. I saw my ex. Thank God! I was a little bit high from smoking joints. I survived!! but didn't party like a rock star.. my mind wonder off, kept thinking about him)
Aneeways, back to Eat Pray Love.
I'm not a slow reader. Just some how reading this book.. made me daydream/fell asleep. I'll be drooling in my sleep/wide awake wishing I'm in Rome eating Gelato or in Naples eating pizza... and so on. I haven't finish reading it. So, can't talk much about it.
Let's get back to my PBUS.
after weeks of feeling miserable and feeling hurt, I have made a decision. An effort to move-on. (I have thought about moving on for awhile but still cried at night and lock myself in my room) it's easier to said then done.
Now, I finally have the strength to close that "door". I have control myself from peeking. I erase all his picture from my mobile, not contacting my friends who also his friend *for awhile*, stop looking at his facebook, erase all his text bla bla bla. Was so afraid to open my pictures media on my phone 'cus I don't want to see his face. I'm protecting myself from getting hurt by memories.
I have decided to take "alone" time.. spend more time for myself, family and just enjoy life as it is. No relationship drama. it's all about ME. (I know I sound so selfish but I think I needed to be). I was thinking to take celibacy... but I don't think I can, maybe.. for couple of months.. I think its too much. I still need sex.
Not long after I made that decision, my passion for traveling and trying new adventure just erupted. It's like a brand new me. The thirst of something new.. to get away and live my life. To actually do it instead of wish/what if.
so here I am.
sharing my new resolutions..
- Start a blog (I used to be afraid to start one, afraid it'll be boring or grammatically incorrect. Now I don't give a shit. haha.. Blog give me something to do)
- Buy a Lomo camera (already order one thru internet shopping)
- A weekend trip to Singapore.
- Visit my very bestfriend in Perth *around Sept 2011 ( I know it's another year, but I need to save up money first :-p)
- Early next year, I would Love to go to Aceh. (I'm half Aceh btw) I want to visit the Baiturrahman Mosque and go diving or snorkeling at Pulau Weh. I heard there's a lot of SHARKS in Pulau Weh and I'm a Selachophobia, fear of shark!!!!! but I still want to go! what the hell!!)
- Do some Paragliding! oh yeah.. I'm also have a fear of heights!!! Acrophobia.
- Learn wall-climbing (just need to find where to learn in South Jakarta)
- Take Diving lessons and license.
- Nude-Art model... (better now, while I still can flaunt it.. hahaha before all turn saggy)
- Solve f*n Rubik's Cube
remind me like one scene from Eclipse, where Bella do all this life-threatening-action just to see Edward ghost. I'm not planning to kill myself so I can see my x-ghost but, I guess I want to do all that 'cus I just want to do it. Feel the excitement.
there's still some adrenaline pumping-extreme-heights sport I won't do, like bungee jump, sky diving and more.
and planning all this stuff distract me from thinking about "him" and keep me focus on the bright side of life. Opening a new door to adventure.. live... living..
just enjoying every moment. Be a new ME.
Plus, keep focusing on all of his negative! *I deserve better!!!! hahaha I'm so mean. Good. }=)
Ramadhan, fasting month have ended. I can't wait to eat more, explore more and drink more cocktails.
ok I think that's it for now..