Who is Ms. S and Mr, Cocktail?

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Ms. S is me. a weird, artistic girl. Live in Jakarta, who like any other girl around the world have drama and adventure in this futuristic world. And I'm here to Share

September 14, 2010


Dear Mr. Cocktail,

I feel  much better this couple of days about me "handling" my post-break up syndrome. I finally start to read "Eat Pray Love", I know it's a bit late, I just bought the book, I have been spending my money to buy shoes. Heaps of shoes!! which really didn't help me recover from my broken heart but it help making me looking super fabulous!

This book would be one of the few books that creep me out a little :-p and somehow I'm still on progress..I haven't finish reading it after 4days!

Creep me out, only for one reason.. I feel Liz and I have a few similarity. Yes, she's a divorcee and I'm not. But same x-boyfriend name and same ambition to travel and Yoga. The same longing.. (and in some part I can feel her pain)

On The verge of Heartbreak Painting by Darryl Kravits

Couple days after my relationship ended,
I realize how stupid this break-up have made me, how pathetic it made me..
in effort to "act" like everything is OK.

I made "5 New Things I need to do" (I posted it on my twitter) suppose to make me feel better..
  1. No more egg benedict at KOI for brunch (remind me too much of him even tho' it's delicious!!)
  2. Cut my hair (I heard it's a tradition)
  3. Join a Yoga class (so I can look super Hot, and make him regret. Silly, but it made me feel better just to think about it)
  4. Buy a new earphone (I know this one is super-lame, didn't actually thought it clearly)
  5. Go out and get drunkly-fun (this is not new, but I haven't done it for so long it had to be a New)
May I remind you, "this break-up made me a little less-smarter" :-)

I have done all the above except number 3 & 5. I already called the Yoga class but since it's Ramadhan month lot of the classes are canceled. So, I'll join around end of September or early October. Party like a rock star??? well.. again since it's Ramadhan. Most of the Club either closed or No Alcohol or Only Open till 2am. Sucks!!!!

(but I did went to a club Domain couple weeks ago *Ramadhan month, after a friend Birthday party at his house. I saw my ex. Thank God! I was a little bit high from smoking joints. I survived!! but didn't party like a rock star.. my mind wonder off, kept thinking about him)

Aneeways, back to Eat Pray Love.
I'm not a slow reader. Just some how reading this book.. made me daydream/fell asleep. I'll be drooling in my sleep/wide awake wishing I'm in Rome eating Gelato or in Naples eating pizza... and so on. I haven't finish reading it. So, can't talk much about it.

Let's get back to my PBUS.
after weeks of feeling miserable and feeling hurt, I have made a decision. An effort to move-on. (I have thought about moving on for awhile but still cried at night and lock myself in my room) it's easier to said then done.

Now, I finally have the strength to close that "door". I have control myself from peeking. I erase all his picture from my mobile, not contacting my friends who also his friend *for awhile*, stop looking at his facebook, erase all his text bla bla bla. Was so afraid to open my pictures media on my phone 'cus I don't want to see his face. I'm protecting myself from getting hurt by memories.

I have decided to take "alone" time.. spend more time for myself, family and just enjoy life as it is. No relationship drama. it's all about ME. (I know I sound so selfish but I think I needed to be). I was thinking to take celibacy... but I don't think I can, maybe.. for couple of months.. I think its too much. I still need sex.

Not long after I made that decision, my passion for traveling and trying new adventure just erupted. It's like a brand new me. The thirst of something new.. to get away and live my life. To actually do it instead of wish/what if.

so here I am.
sharing my new resolutions..
  1. Start a blog (I used to be afraid to start one, afraid it'll be boring or grammatically incorrect. Now I don't give a shit. haha.. Blog give me something to do)
  2. Buy a Lomo camera (already order one thru internet shopping)
  3. A weekend trip to Singapore.
  4. Visit my very bestfriend in Perth *around Sept 2011 ( I know it's another year, but I need to save up money first :-p)
  5. Early next year, I would Love to go to Aceh. (I'm half Aceh btw) I want to visit the Baiturrahman Mosque and go diving or snorkeling at Pulau Weh. I heard there's a lot of SHARKS in Pulau Weh and I'm a Selachophobia, fear of shark!!!!! but I still want to go! what the hell!!)
  6. Do some Paragliding! oh yeah.. I'm also have a fear of heights!!! Acrophobia.
  7. Learn wall-climbing (just need to find where to learn in South Jakarta)
  8. Take Diving lessons and license.
  9. Nude-Art model... (better now, while I still can flaunt it.. hahaha before all turn saggy)
  10. Solve f*n Rubik's Cube
Doing all the stuff that fears me the most? 
remind me like one scene from Eclipse, where Bella do all this life-threatening-action just to see Edward ghost. I'm not planning to kill myself so I can see my x-ghost but, I guess I want to do all that 'cus I just want to do it. Feel the excitement.
there's still some adrenaline pumping-extreme-heights sport I won't do, like bungee jump, sky diving and more.

and planning all this stuff distract me from thinking about "him" and keep me focus on the bright side of life. Opening a new door to adventure.. live... living.. 
just enjoying every moment. Be a new ME.
Plus, keep focusing on all of his negative! *I deserve better!!!! hahaha I'm so mean. Good. }=)

Ramadhan, fasting month have ended. I can't wait to eat more, explore more and drink more cocktails. 
ok I think that's it for now..


September 04, 2010

Day with my Steve

Dear Mr. Cocktail,

It's been a hard month for me. Breaking up/on a break with someone is always hard, sad and hurts. Even tho' you know deep inside you're doing the right thing. But, being a woman.. your heart and head rarely think on the same page.

I wore my Steve Madden. Ready for drinks and pouring my heart out.

Cork & Screw, Shiraz & Triple Chocolate Melt.
After work I went with my colleague, Ms, K to Cork & Screw in Wisma Kodel. We decided to go there 'cus it's near from where we work, we just can't be bothered with the traffic & we had late dinner plan that night so going home sounds like wasting our time stuck in traffic jam.

We got there, we order drinks. I order Bailey on the rock (not in the mood to drink wine, wine make me sleepy) and I order this dessert Ms. told me that I have to try. "it's the best chocolate melt". Ms. K order a glass of Shiraz

The Triple Chocolate Melt!!!! is delicious! Nyum! it was sooo good I feel bad eating it. Around 6 pm, it start to get crowded. People coming in either to break fasting (I never tried the food, next time I will) or just relaxing after hard day at work.

and I have to say, the ambiance was cozy, not so dark - not so bright, the music was not too loud so you can still held a conversation, the service was excellent. lots of smile and very attentive. Thumbs up. The only creepy things is the security guy is keep on staring at our table. Maybe he grew suspicious on what I write all the time. But, still creepy...  

We talk about life and how I'm handling my break up/ on a break thing, talk about work and so on. After awhile, I ask for the menu. Feeling for some cocktail. Cork & Screw also serve beers, cocktail and mocktails. Took me couple of minutes to find the cocktail I haven't try before.. and I found "C.C.C.P" Classic Cosmo Cocktail with Cotton Candy (the cotton candy drew my curiosity). When I was about to order, my boss called Ms. K meeting at the The Ritz Carlton. :-/

Note to self: I need to had that C.C.C.P next time. We pay our bill, and off we go to the Ritz.

Cut story short, I'm able to spare some of my time to see my friend Asti painting exhibition at The Ritz Carlton. I promise her to visit :-) and I did. yey!!
after the meeting, Mr. K, my Boss and I went to Sunter for a late Indian food dinner at Queen's of India, Sunlake Hotel. It's quite far. When we got there as usual I order my fav non-spicy Indian food - Paneer makhani with Roomali and couple of Aloogobi.

finish dinner we went to Kemang for Shisha at The Little Baghdad, mint with sprite and couple of lemon slice - that's my usual shisha flavor. It's the perfect taste for a hot humid weather like Jakarta. We joke around and talk, taking pictures till 1.30 am. then I head back home...

On my way home, I kept on thinking.. about what happen in my relationship. Focusing on his negative, telling myself that I worth so much more (and I am). Telling myself, that I'm going to be fine (and I will)..

Got home, tired, sleepy and my foot are aching I went straight to bed, not looking forward to work the next day knowing after work a new drama is waiting for me. I close my eyes, tears falling on my pillow.

"I miss your kiss"



September 01, 2010

First Page

Dear Mr. Cocktail,

This is my first post and I'm a bit nervous because my grammar sucks! ha.. so I hope you don't mind :-)
but recently a lot have been happening in my life. I feel the need to share it with you. but first things first.. Introduction.

Why Mr. Cocktail?

No, I'm not an alcoholic.. :-) but I just love to sip your sweet nectar after a long weekdays of work, party or when I'm truly blue. I do enjoy tasting all your new creation, it's like an adventure for me :-p

and somehow I can be more free with your company. You help me put my troubles behind me.. made me relax and enjoy the time that I have.

So, here I am sharing you my story, my journey, my passion, my love life.

Why Ms. S?

Well I like mystery. I like being mysterious because in life I'm far from mysterious. I let everything out in the open, except stuff that really matters to me. such as -feelings-.
yup.. I tend to suppressed my anger, my temper, and it driving me crazy.
So, here's where you come in Mr. Cocktail. I need your help, I need you to be my shoulder to cry on, my best-friend, my therapist. :-)

Don't worry, I won't rant you all the time, I will tell you all the fun and interesting things that happen in my life. 

That it for now, time for me to sleep. I'll tell you more tomorrow

Thank you for being there for me.